Okay, I
couldn’t let 2011 go by without doing a little list reminding us all of
some of the worst deaths over the past year. I’ve listed my personal top
5 worst deaths of 2011, all of them are for different reasons but all
are terrible, terrible deaths!
Undead's do not count, so you won't find any nomination from the Twilight movie I'm afraid. Much as I wish it would just die...
5 - Super 8 - Pick-up truck driver.
Super 8 may
well have been one of my favourite movies of the year but it was not
without its faults. This entry isn’t so much about the death itself but
more so about the fact there is no immediate death. It’s the scene where
the train crashes into the pick-up truck. In the scene, this pick-up
truck manages to make a multiple tonne freight train do somersaults by
crashing into it head on! I have no idea how; in real life the train
would have just smashed through it like a rally car through paper, but
no, this pick-up truck manages to derail the entire train all the while
staying largely intact AND having the driver survive! I have no idea how
any of that happened. He does die eventually but he’s kept alive long
enough to tell the kids something very important.
4 - X-Men First Class – Darwin.
X-Men First Class
was a decent superhero movie that finally got the X-Men franchise back
on track all be it a track that has no continuity whatsoever. One
downside to the prequel was that the characters on show, not including
Professor X and Magneto, were rubbish. Angel and Emma Frost represent
some of the worst characters, and some of the worst acting ever seen in
any superhero movie. Beast was extremely tame and the others very
forgettable. One of the characters on show was Darwin, who had the
ability to evolve instantaneously to adapt to certain situations. As
soon as you meet him you know he’s going to die. How do you know? Well,
he’s black for a start. Yep, Darwin is a dead bro walking and only
serves as a device for Kevin Bacon to show off his crazy powers. He gets
exploded by a load of energy he’s forced to swallow. Pants.
3 - Fast and the Furious 5 - Don’s brother.
Vin Diesel isn’t really acclaimed for his acting ability really, so it comes as no surprise that the Fast and the Furious 5 makes
it into this list. In a random skirmish with a crime-lord’s mini army,
Don’s crew manage to escape but what’s this? Don’s brother has been
wounded in the gut. The next scene shows him lying on a table, dead. Don
looks at him, walks away and starts going on about robbing the police
station or whatever. No emotion. Nothing. Wow.
2 - I Am Number 4 – Henri.
Teenie bopper movie, I Am Number 4,
featured some very poor acting and a story that made no sense at all.
Amongst all that was the death of Number 4’s guardian Henri, who not
only allows himself to be captured by two yokels but is also killed off
because Number 4 can’t start a car with his powers. Yes, Number 4
struggles to ignite the engine even though moments earlier we witnessed
him turn the key of a door like it was nothing…so why not just turn the
ignition? After much struggle, one of those silly Voldemort men jumps on
the bonnet and stabs Henri with a sword. How lame.
1 – Transformers 3 – Megatron.
Though not as bad as the second instalment, Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon is
a terrible movie. You will probably be dismayed to hear that the fourth
instalment will be directed by Michael Bay, news that shatters the
dreams of us all who hoped for just one good Transformers movie. Of
course we’ll all go and see the fourth just to see how much worse Bay
can make it, I’m sure he won’t disappoint. The third movie ended in such
a fittingly bad way… the death of Megatron. Yes, Megatron, the ultimate
Decepticon, reduced to nothing by Michael Bay in just 2 movies, is
killed off at the end by a one armed Optimus Prime in a fight that lasts
barely 5 seconds. What happened to Megatron? This really was the final
humiliation for the poor sod. Truth be told if I were to include more
than 1 death per movie then the whole top 5 would be dominated by Transformers 3.
Starscream is also killed ridiculously by a human and not Megatron, and
then there’s the plot device professor who serves only to give Sam
Witwicky a grapple hook before being murdered by the Decepticons.
Terrible movie, terrible deaths.
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