Spy comedies have a decent track record, what with the likes
of Austin Powers and Naked Gun being generally successful at the box office. It
probably wasn’t much of a surprise for a new one to emerge sooner or later and
that movie is This Means War.
I suppose you could say the main problem with This Means War
is that instead of being just a comedy it mixes rather dangerously in the
dreaded romantic comedy genre and though it definitely does, it
isn’t a terrible movie for it.
The pair’s friendship falls into question when they both
fall for the same woman: Lauren, a saleswoman played by Reece Witherspoon.
Tuck meets Lauran on a dating site and after meeting up it
all appears to be going very well for the couple until she bumps into the
arrogant idiot FDR at the video store on the way home. Naturally she figures
out that FDR is a sleaze and leaves him to pick up some other random chick. All going well so far.
Now, here’s where it gets weird. FDR stalks her and finds
out where she works, meets her at work and refuses to leave until she agrees to go on a date with him. How about… call security!? Sorry but if someone had
stalked me to my place of work and demanded we go on a date I reckon the
chances of me actually turning up would be pretty much zero. I suppose it
depends how hot she is…
But of course she actually turns up, and naturally the date
goes terribly with him trying to impress her in a big way by going to a club
where everyone knows his name. Seriously he’s a proper D-bag. Just as Lauren is
leaving though she bumps into her ex and is forced to kiss FDR because doing so
will make him jealous (he’s good looking you see). Somehow she ends up liking him because of this…
Of course this all leads to Tuck and FDR finding out they’ve
fallen for the same girl and neither of them are backing down. They decide that
the best way to decide who gets the girl is to let her do the choosing. So they
go on dates with her with only one rule: no sex. What could possibly go wrong?
The rest of the movie is then spent following the pair as
they go on dates with Lauren. Both of them recruit CIA teams to find all the
information possible on her and then use this information to impress her. For
example FDR learns that she likes dogs so attempts to impress her by adopting a
rescue dog and Tuck finds out that she sees him as ‘safe’ so he takes her on a
paintballing date where he kicks so much ass Bane would be proud.
During all this Lauren is constantly debating with her
horrid friend, Trish, about which one is the better man. This is very annoying as
throughout the movie you’re just thinking that Tuck is OBVIOUSLY the better man
of the two, FDR is just a shallow idiot! Anyway she decides the only way to
know who is the best is to have sex with them and decide afterwards, because
that’s not shallow at all now is it?
But what’s this? Surely they won’t have sex with her because
they made a pact: no sex, so they won’t do it will they, they won’t go against
tha… yeah FDR sleeps with her. Seriously, that guy is a complete ass. At this
point you think everything will be fine because she’ll choose Tuck in the end,
well I’m sorry to burst your bubble but she doesn’t!
This movie isn’t so bad, it’s funny in parts and is
generally a fun laugh considering how close it is to being a romcom. However
the ending SUCKS! How in God’s name can she choose FDR over Tuck? I guess it is
kind of realistic, I mean yes women do tend to go for the idiots over the nice
guys so in that respect it’s realistic but this is a movie and I demand you let
the nice British guy win!
What makes it worse is that Tuck’s ex-wife, who now knows
he’s a bad-ass spy and not a boring travel agent, all of a sudden wants him
back. Oh what a surprise; cue Tuck’s rejection of her advances… nope, instead
he gets back with her. My God this ending is woeful.
Overall this movie is okay, it does have some very funny
moments but unfortunately that ending is so bad it hurts. Douche bags are not
meant to get the girl in the end! I haven’t seen The Vow but I’m fairly sure
that creepy ex of hers doesn’t end up with her!
Anyway that aside this movie is alright, my advice would be to
stop watching right before the end and make up your own better ending, where Tuck
rejects everyone for a quiet life in the country and FDR falls down the stairs.
Final Verdict: 2 Stars. Not of the same standards as Naked Gun or anything but still far better than Johnny English Reborn.
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