The Spies Who Loved Me.

Spy comedies have a decent track record, what with the likes of Austin Powers and Naked Gun being generally successful at the box office. It probably wasn’t much of a surprise for a new one to emerge sooner or later and that movie is This Means War.

I suppose you could say the main problem with This Means War is that instead of being just a comedy it mixes rather dangerously in the dreaded romantic comedy genre and though it definitely does, it isn’t a terrible movie for it.

Safe as Houses.

Denzel Washington returned to add yet another thriller to his CV this year with Safe House, an action thriller set in Cape Town.

The movie also stars Ryan Reynolds who arguably plays the main character, Matt Weston, a frustrated man who is stuck in his role running a safe house for the CIA. Denzel plays Tobin Frost, a rogue agent who’s been out there for years evading the CIA. One way or another he ends up captured and lo-and-behold he is introduced to woefully inexperienced Matt.

Unfortunately the US government are fairly inept, according to this movie anyway, and they fail to secure the location and somehow grant every man and his dog in South Africa the knowledge of the safe house’s location. Due to this several armed men force their way into the compound in an attempt to get to Frost. During the inevitable firefight, Matt takes Frost out with him and they head off on the run while the Americans wonder just what to do. 

Flight of the Muppets.

Did you know that The Muppets won an Oscar? Well it did! It was nominated for Best Original Song, and it won! Not that it had much competition, the Academy nominated just two songs for that award…

Regardless of that though I really enjoyed The Muppets, I thought it was funny, witty, and charming and I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t like it!

The movie is a bit of a tribute to Jim Henson’s Muppets, produced by the main (human) star Jason Segal of How I Met Your Mother fame. It’s about a young Muppet named Walter who with his human brother Gary (Segal) grows up watching and loving the Muppets show.

Paradise?

The Descendants, starring George Clooney, had many plaudits and was generally well received by everyone who saw it. Personally I thought it was good, but not ground-breaking.

The story is about a man living in Hawaii who has to build upon his relationship with his kids after his wife is left in a coma after a speedboat accident. Sounds cheery doesn’t it? Well it’s not as grim as it sounds; in fact it’s pretty uplifting and heart-warming in parts.

Matt (Clooney) starts off the movie barely knowing his own daughters, 10-year old Scotty and upper-teenage tearaway Alex; I don’t know why they have unisex names, they just do. As the movie goes on the trio end up bonding in strange ways from taking revenge on an estate agent who’s slept with Matt’s wife to long car journeys with Alex’s friend Sid – who is a complete idiot.

BE BRAVE!

Steven Speilberg’s masterpiece War Horse was finally released in the UK in January. The film centres around a noble steed who gets sent into battle and not only wins the war but also our hearts. Arr.

Set just before and during the First World War the film follows the horse, named Joey, as he’s born, bought by a farmer, trained by his son and sent off into to war by the British army. During his time in the war, the horse changes sides a few times and meets a whole array of different characters who all contribute to this film in their own way.

There are the British military featuring Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston. Then there are a couple of young German boys who end up breaking rank with him, then a young French girl and her grandfather and so on. Each of the people who meet with Joey grows a certain bond towards him and there is many a touching moment in this movie that have left plenty weeping into their hankies. Not me of course… honest…

Tories Assemble.

Earlier in the year The Iron Lady, a film about the life of everybody’s favourite female British Prime Minister, was released in cinemas. This one also did well at the Oscars with Meryl Streep winning best actress again, and to be fair to her, it was well deserved.

Streep is the best thing about this film; she makes the role her own and obviously has some passion about the story. However the film really isn’t perfect.

The main thing I found wrong with it is that it’s set in the present day where Thatcher is depicted as an aging woman with dementia who is looking back on her life. This is how they show the past events, in flashback form, which is okay but it can get a little irritating with all the switching from past to present and then back again.

L'Artiste, Oscar champion.

It seems the biggest movie of the year is The Artist. Overall it won five Oscars which is no small feat for a foreign film. I didn’t think it would win Best Picture if I’m honest as the Americans very rarely give Academy Awards to movies that are remotely foreign. 

The Artist is foreign in two ways, first it is from France with many French cast and crew, secondly it’s completely against what’s normal in modern cinema. For a start it’s a silent movie which is pretty irregular in the age of soddingly loud THX promos.

Top 5 Worst Movie Deaths of 2011.

Okay, I couldn’t let 2011 go by without doing a little list reminding us all of some of the worst deaths over the past year. I’ve listed my personal top 5 worst deaths of 2011, all of them are for different reasons but all are terrible, terrible deaths! 

Undead's do not count, so you won't find any nomination from the Twilight movie I'm afraid. Much as I wish it would just die...

WBMs of 2011.

Last year produced many good movies, but there was also more than one or two bad ones. Those movies you see the trailer for and wonder how they got the money together to make such rubbish. Now, unless I’m being paid, I’m just not going to watch movies that look like tripe and I will go out of my way to avoid them. I don’t care if im seeing them for free, I’m wasting my valuable time so I’ll stay well away when I can. These movies I have, rather lovingly, dubbed WBMs. Wide Berth Movies.

So here’s my list, in no particular order, of 2011’s WBMs...

Top 7 Animated Movies of 2011.

It was a reasonably decent year for animated movies in 2011. It was quite unique in that Pixar’s yearly offering, Cars 2, was pretty poor. This meant other animated movies had to pick up the slack and they all did a decent job in doing so. I saw 7 animated movies this year, obviously not enough to do a top 10, so here are my top 7 animated movies of the year…

Top 10 Movies of 2011.

In terms of movies, 2011 turned out to be a pretty good year and seeing as it’s the done thing on the internet to rank things in order of preference, here are my top 10 movies of 2011. Keep in mind that the movies I’ve included were all released in the UK during 2011, so if you see a movie that was out in 2010 in America or elsewhere don’t be a whiney little gremlin; likewise if you see a movie hasn’t been included it’s likely that it came out in 2012 in the UK (War Horse for example).

I’ve pretty much gone off which films I enjoyed the most rather than analysing them a little too much. Put simply, these are the 10 movies I enjoyed the most in 2011. So, without further ado here is the top 10…

Holmes versus Moriarty. Heads versus Tails.

Sherlock Holmes has been all the rage in recent years. There’s been the outstanding modern adaptation done by the BBC and there’s also been the big-budget outings on the big screen.

The 2009 Sherlock Holmes movie was directed by Guy Ritchie. It was actually a really good film, Guy Ritchie’s best by far! It starred Robert Downey Jr as Sherlock and Jude Law as Dr Watson. Even though Downey Jr is an American, this isn’t an issue as he captures the pompous British accent that’s perfect for the Sherlock character quite brilliantly.

Well now Guy Ritchie has returned with the second instalment Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows and it’s even better than the first.

Impossible Missions of the Fourth Kind.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Tom Cruise on the big screen. It was Valkyrie back in 2008 when I last saw him (I refuse to acknowledge Knight and Day) and he was actually pretty good in that, so I was fairly excited to see his latest action movie: Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol.

Now, I have to admit, I’m not really big on the Mission Impossible movies. They’re kind of the third place action movies behind the Bond and Bourne flicks. And let’s face it there aren’t a whole lot of movie franchises that have produced a fourth instalment that isn’t worse than watching paint dry on the inside of your eyelids. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull for example, that was fun.

The Cat in the Hat (and Boots).

The Shrek series is one that Dreamworks have enjoyed milking over the years. Since Shrek 2 though, the franchise hasn’t really improved at all, in fact the quality has dropped. They had babies, which means inevitable baby jokes. Sigh.

So perhaps a spin-off movie starring one of the more popular characters would help give the franchise a much-needed boost. Up steps Puss in Boots.

Did it succeed in breathing a bit of life into the series? Well, yes, but only a little.

Puss in Boots is a good character, and he represents pretty much the only draw in this movie; the other characters don’t have the same care and attention put into them that Puss has had. Though attempting to pull off a movie like this with one character alone is difficult, Puss in Boots manages to pull it off reasonably successfully.

A story about storytelling.

The Oscar nominations came out recently and some were surprised to see that it was in fact Hugo that received the most nominations with 11 including best picture and best director. But considering just how good a film it is, I’m not surprised one bit.

Perhaps it’s less surprising when you learn Hugo’s director is none other than Martin Scorsese, who decided that with this film he would have a go at filming in 3D.

Now, I didn’t watch it in 3D, mainly because I don’t like it, but even in 2D you could tell that Hugo used 3D pretty well. It was depth 3D, not just the “oh it’s coming right at me” 3D that’s used by every other 3D movie apart from maybe Avatar.

Computer animated play-doh.

As far as Christmas movies go, it’s fair to say the old ones are the best ones. For all the versions of A Christmas Carol we’ve had, it’s always Alistair Simm’s Scrooge that comes out on top; It’s a Wonderful Life continues to be watched year in year out by many; and not a December goes by without Home Alone being aired on TV.

That’s not to say that there hasn’t been any more recent Christmas movies that have been good, but for all the Christmas movies that get made every year, few are any good. I think Elf, starring Will Ferrell is the last really good Christmas movie that’s been released, and that was back in 2003.

Well deck the halls and jingle my bells the wait is finally over as someone has actually done another great Christmas movie. That movie is Arthur Christmas.

Beware the Ides of March.

American politics is corrupt, conniving, power-craving, misogynistic and undemocratic world. But one thing you certainly can’t call it is boring.

Hence why most of the political stories across the ages have been set in the land of the free, whether they be fact or fiction. The latest offering to the fictional pile is The Ides of March, a film that stars its own writer and director, George Clooney. 

I don’t really know why the film has such an important meaning for the 15th March but it does, maybe that’s election day or something. My best guess is that it’s making reference to the fall of Julies Caesar, but who knows maybe the DVD release date will be on 15th March.

Steven Spielberg and the motion captured quiff.

Ladies and Gentlemen it’s been a while but Steven Spielberg is finally back on form.

Yes after directing turkeys like War of the Worlds, Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull and producing turds like the Transformers movies, Spielberg has finally lived up to at least some of his reputation with his latest movie: The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn.

Obviously based on the comic strips by the Belgian artist Georges Remi (Hergé), Tintin is done quite proud here in this movie. It’s fun, energetic, suspenseful, and thoroughly entertaining stuff! And yes that is a colon you see in the film title. Inevitable sequels ahoy!

Johnny English: Licensed to annoy continuously.

Rowan Atkinson was back on the big screen in 2011 with a sequel to the bungling spy flick Johnny English and as much as I love him, Johnny English: Reborn is below average at best.

Sure, the first movie was okay, but it wasn’t anything that really blew you away. The whole bungling spy thing has been done several times, take The Naked Gun for example. Johnny English never really added anything to the genre, it just existed within it.

The whole premise is essentially: what if James Bond was an idiot? And the filmmakers pretty much ran with that for the first movie. For the second they do very much the same thing. 

Smashy Robot UFC. To a T.

2011 was a year which featured a couple of movies that showed off large over-compensating robots beating the living hell out of one another. One was the boring conclusion to the Transformers trilogy: Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon and the other was Real Steel.

Real Steel stars Hugh Jackman as a down-and-out former boxer who now pits his fighting robots against other mechanical wizzbots. Think of it as Wolverine but with giant robots… that aren’t Sentinals.

Israeli Debt Collectors.

With the Summer blockbuster season over and done with, October started to throw out a few smarter movies onto the screens.


One of those movies was The Debt directed by John Madden (no, not that John Madden). Set in a post-war Berlin, three Israeli agents set out to bring justice to their people by capturing Doktor Bernhardt, the Butcher of Birkenau. The mission is an apparent success but decades later it becomes apparent that the agents lied about the death of Bernhardt, failing to admit he’d gotten away. 

Cage Rage.

Mark Wahlberg’s The Fighter made a large impact on the movie scene earlier this year, so it probably isn’t too much of a surprise to see another fight movie pop up towards the end of it.

Starring the ever impressive Tom Hardy, Warrior is like the brutal step-brother of The Fighter, grappling and pummelling its way to our affection.

Is it as good as The Fighter? Well, no. But it’s a good effort all the same.

Head stompingly good fun

Every year cinema provides a few hidden gems. Those movies you’ve heard nothing about and see with little-to-no expectations and yet they become one of your favourite films of the year. 2009 saw District 9 become a favourite of mine from absolutely nowhere, 2010’s gem was The Social Network and now 2011 has given me Drive.

The story centres around a character who has a very Daniel Craig from Layer Cake vibe about him; so much so that he doesn’t even have a name. Played by Ryan Gosling, this silent hero goes through the movie trying to do what’s right for those innocent around him, how he succeeds and how he fails.

I had no idea what to expect when walking into this one. Sure it’s called Drive, but cars don’t feature too heavily in this movie at all. The main focus is on the main character as he tries to help a woman who lives next door to him (played by the very good Carey Mulligan).

Cast of the decade?

One of the most absorbing films of modern cinema was released this summer, filled with more British talent than the 1966 World Cup winning team and a screenplay that does the original proud. I am of course talking about Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

Set in the 1970s the film focusses on the British Secret Service and their search within themselves for a mole. In order to smoke him out, the top dog brings in retired agent George Smiley, played by Gary Oldman.

Smiley knows the mole is one of four men: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, or Spy; his mission is to find out just who it is.

Rootin' Tootin' Cowboys (and Aliens).

If you’re looking for the most ridiculous movie of the year you’d be hard pressed to find something more bizarre than Cowboys and Aliens starring Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford.

Set sometime in the old West the movie centres around a cowboy called Jake (Daniel Craig) who gets abducted by aliens, as was quite common in them there days, and finds himself mysteriously back on the cold sandy planet we call Earth with an alien weapon attached to his wrist.

Harrison Ford plays baddie come goodie, Woodrow, who owns much of the land in the town and becomes distressed by the mysterious disappearance of his cattle and therefore money. He gets no such alien weapon, plenty of normal guns though.

Colin.

With Summer near enough over the movies started to slowly dry up. All that remained was the remnants of the Summer blockbusters and of course The Inbetweeners Movie, and I didn’t really fancy that due to the fact I’m 25 years old.

I’m fairly sure there are plenty of people out there who like The Inbetweeners, well I’m definitely sure, I have Facebook, it‘s the only thing people spoke about for about seven weeks. I’ve never got into the hit E4 show, from the stuff I’ve seen it’s okay, crude but it has it’s moments. These moments aren’t laugh out loud, but they raise a smile.

Hail Caesar.

As the Summer blockbuster season drew to a close it dawned on my that it had been largely underwhelming. It all kicked off with Pirates of the Caribbean 4 which was average, had sprinkles of mediocre with Cars 2 and The Green Lantern, and a large dollop of boredom with Transformers 3.

It’s no surprise then that I didn’t walk into Rise of the Planet of the Apes with high hopes, and yet I walked out pleasantly surprised by it.

The movie is obviously a prequel to the movie: Planet of the Apes, I don’t think it matters if it’s Burton’s version or Schaffner’s. It starts off with a scientist called Will Rodman, played by James Franco, who is working on medication that will treat, and possibly cure Alzheimer’s. His father has the illness and so this motivates him to carry on his work.

Like ET, only slightly bigger.

It hasn’t exactly been the greatest Summer of all time for movies, but nonetheless it has provided some good ones. And one of the best has to be J.J. Abrams’ science fiction thriller Super 8.

Set in the 1980s (well, 1979 actually), Super 8 focuses on a young boy who, with his friends, comes across an alien who is trying to get back to his homeworld. Yeah, it isn’t difficult to see where the comparisons to ET came from is it? It’s even produced by Steven Spielberg himself. Of course being likened to one of the best science fiction movies of all time is hardly a bad thing, and in fairness it is different enough to stand on its own two feet.

Hail Hydra!

This year has been another big year for the superhero genre with Thor, X-Men: First Class and The Green Lantern all screening. And as the summer months drew to a close, the genre still had one last trick up its sleeve: Captain America: The First Avenger.

This is Marvel’s third movie of the year. Not content with Thor and X-Men, the comic book giants released one of their personal favourites, Captain America in the later Summer months. Did they save the best until last? In a word: yes.

The Ruddy Doors.

Pixar have made some great animated films over the past 10 years. With titles like Toy Story, Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo, and Wall-e, you’d be hard pressed to find a production studio with a higher success rate than theirs.

They have some of the most original ideas in animation and their creativity is amongst the highest in the business. As the years tick by they’ve moved more and more into adding sequels to former movies. Toy Story has had three movies now dedicated to it and Monsters Inc will be getting a sequel in 2013. Both of the originals were great movies and therefore deserving of sequels. Strange then to see that this year’s Pixar animation was a sequel to their 2006 movie: Cars.

The Hangover, for Hens.

At the beginning of the Summer movie season, there really was a lull in movies that I wanted to go and see. After seeing Transformers: Dark of the Moon, there was nothing for a couple of weeks. This usually leads me into seeing movies I have only a faint bit of interest in. Bridesmaids is such a movie.

I didn’t have high hopes for this flick. Sure it has Flight of the Conchords’ Brahbrah in it as well as Roy from the IT Crowd but judging by the trailer alone, I wasn’t really that excited about seeing it. I could never figure out if it was a chick flick or not, in the end it kind of was but it was still watchable for men.

Happy as Larry.

After seeing Transformers: Dark of the Moon there was no question that I needed to see another film as soon as possible. And so a week later me and my brother went down to the cinema to find something new to watch so our minds would be absolved.

Truth be told we were in a little bit of a lull when it came to finding a new movie to watch; Transformers and The Green Lantern had been seen and Captain America and Cars 2 weren’t quite out yet at the Box Office. So Larry Crowne it was. 

Optimus!

This summer the Transformers movie trilogy came to an end with the release of Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon. Was it any good? Of course it wasn’t, it was a horrible movie that only has one silver lining: it‘s the last one!

Now, I watched the first Transformers movie when it first came out back in 2007 and it wasn’t too bad. Sure the story is a complete wafer but on the whole it was a decent movie. It didn’t get nominated for any Oscars but it was watchable if nothing else. Transformers 3 however, makes the original look like The Shawshank Redemption!

Living in Batman's shadow is bound to turn you a little green.

I must admit, of all the superhero films that have been released over the past decade, The Green Lantern isn’t one that had me excited to go and see it. For all the trailers and other promos they released alongside the movie, none of them really enticed me into watching the movie itself.

But watch it I did, and it’s an alright movie to be fair to it. Unfortunately though it isn’t the most spectacular of superhero films. It has plenty of action involved with very little filler in-between which is good and bad. On the one hand there’s little depth to the characters in the movie, but on the other it keeps you entertained.

Kung Fu Panda 2: Black belt or black eye?

It’s a bit of a year for animated sequels this year. Pixar are serving up Cars 2 this summer while Dreamworks have released Kung Fu Panda 2. To be honest both of them look a little underwhelming, Cars is probably the weakest film Pixar have done so it’s a strange choice to bring out another. Kung Fu Panda was a relative hit, a decent movie that is probably more variable than Cars to get a sequel.

That being said Kung Fu Panda 2 doesn’t really capture the same magic of the first instalment. Po the Panda is already a Dragon Warrior so the object of this movie is simply stop the bad guy from doing evil stuff.

Being second is to be the first of the ones who lose.

It’s been just over 15 years now since the death of Ayrton Senna during the San Marino Grand Prix in 1994 and to commemorate this anniversary a documentary was made about him and released in cinemas. It came out this year in the UK and focuses on Ayrton Senna’s career as a racer from his karting days up until his World Championship winning Formula 1 days.

Of course back in Senna’s era, Formula 1 was a great motorsport competition with great drivers with great personalities, and no driver was better than he was. He may not have won the most races or held the most championship titles, but he was the best, and everyone, including his closest rivals, knew it.

Vote Magneto.

The superhero genre is one that refuses to go away. It’s a genre that’s always been with us ever since Batman was calling Robin his good chum back in the 1940s. Since then though the superhero snowball has tumbled down the hill, further and further until it’s become so big we’re finding the number of superhero movie releases in a year approaching double figures!

This year isn’t showing any signs of melting the big ball of frozen water as we’re being bombarded by the likes of Thor, The Green Lantern, and Captain America. Over the years though, I’ve found that superhero movies have slipped a little and the movies aren’t quite up to scratch. In recent years the only superhero movies worth mentioning are Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and possibly Kick Ass, if you can class that as a superhero flick.

Summer Blockbuster Season Ahoy!

About a month ago I went to see the new Pirates of the Caribbean film: On Stranger Tides, the movie that kicked off the Summer blockbuster season, and to be honest I don’t think it was that bad.

Critics have pretty much buried this movie, they've given it a heavy slating it but I thought that was largely unfair. Yes, this is nothing more than a Bruckheimer cash-cow but still, if you ignore that fact and just watch the movie you’ll find it isn’t as bad as it’s been made out to be.

It follows the same swashbuckling formula of its predecessors and has just the right amount of humour to keep it going while the cast is decent enough to keep you interested. Penelope Cruz is the new love interest: Angelica, Geoffrey Rush returns as the legless Barbossa, Frank from Hot Rod (otherwise known as Ian McShane) is the new villain: Blackbeard, and of course Johnny Depp is back as the indispensable Jack Sparrow!

The Fast and the Furious: Rock edition.

You’ve probably seen the recent scene that depicts Vin Diesel calling together his bunch of mates from around the world: Paul Walker, the Asian dude who eats crisps, Ludacris, the black guy from Transformers and…the rest of them who have no personalities to speak of.

Turns out they got another job to do, and since none of them are actually doing anything these days, they get right on it. Their aim is to rob the richest and most powerful man in Brazil. Prompting several members to walk away, including the black guy from Transformers, but wait Vin’s not said the amount of money in that annoying slow voice of his “100 million dollars.” Everyone is 'down' and the black guy from Transformers is back on-side, Michael Bay mustn’t be paying like he used to.

All Gods go to heaven.

The superhero genre has shot to the forefront of modern day cinema over the past decade and this year certainly isn’t going to put a stop to that trend.

In 2011 there will be Thor, Captain America, X-Men: First Class and The Green Lantern. Thor was released first, outside of the summer blockbuster period, which was strange as it had the look and feel of a summer hit. The CGI, the action, the thumping music, Anthony Hopkins; what more could it need?

Paintballing without the pain.

The latest animation from Blue Sky studios is Rio, the story of a rare blue macaw who must travel to Brazil in order to mate and save his species. Blue Sky are probably most famous for the Ice Age series, which I liked, but it did peter out towards the end so I was interested in seeing how Rio was going to turn out.

It was a good movie that I have to say I quite enjoyed, all be it at the start of the movie the colour was all in pink, resulting in the movie stopping abruptly and starting from the beginning…of the trailers. The projectionist simply skipped forward as if it were a DVD, which it probably was, and on we went!

Oh Boy!

Next up in my film blog catch up is one starring Jake Gyllenhaal, haven't seen him for a while. The film is about a man who somehow uses a computer program to leap into another man’s body and change his decisions in order to find out about certain happenings and events.

No, I’m not talking about Quantum Leap the movie, I’m talking about Source Code. It doesn't quite have the charm that Sam and Al had together with good ol' Ziggy and Gooshie but that doesn't mean it's not a good movie.

Eye stimulation without the silly glasses.

Sucker Punch was released a while back now and I’ve only just got around to writing a blog on it. Zack Snyder of Watchmen and 300 fame directed this so I was looking forward to it as he generally produces nice pieces of artistic creativeness if nothing else.

And that is pretty much what I got upon watching Sucker Punch. Its story is centred around a young girl named Baby Doll, who is oppressed by her step-father who simply wants the inheritance of her mother. He declares Baby Doll insane and she heads off to a mental institute.

One Pill: Little did he know it was just a placebo.

So I went to see Limitless, which must have been the most popular movie at the time as the cinema was absolutely packed out. So much so they had a bouncer at the door. You know a film is going to be bad-ass if there’s a bouncer at the screen entrance.

Was it bad ass then? Well mostly yes. Limitless has its moments of brilliance that really keep you enthralled in the story, but there are some areas that let it down slightly.

Matthew McConaughey and the back seat of his car.

Matthew McConaughey was recently in the film: The Lincoln Lawyer, and I didn’t think he was too bad considering when I see him in movies I usually end up feeling nauseated and angry at the sheer implausibility of rom-coms.

But this one isn’t a rom-com! Hooray! No, it isn’t a historical drama based on Abraham Lincoln’s little-known career in the justice system, I somehow don’t think McConaughey could quite pull off the sideburns. Instead he plays a prosecutor who finds himself with the wrong kind of client: a murderer! Who’d have thought a prosecutor’s client could be a murderer. I know, it’s out there.

USMC - Be the best (All of you not just Eckhart)

I recently went to watch a weird new video game that didn’t allow the player to actually play. No controllers, no headset, just a screen. It was called Battle: Los Angeles.

Of course I jest, it isn’t really a video game, though the action found in it is more like a video game than Call of Duty is. Instead it is the latest alien invasion movie to hit the big screen. I went into this movie pretty pumped, I thought it looked action packed and I was looking forward to seeing what they were going to do that other movies sharing their tent hadn’t already done.

Unfortunately the answer to this question is this: very little.

Fair and Balanced stories.

I went to see Fair Game the other week, and in truth it wasn’t half bad. Starting Naomi Watts and Sean Penn the movie is about the life of Valerie Plame, a former CIA agent, and her husband Joe Wilson, a former ambassador.

It’s a true story that occurred in 2002 when George Bush decided to go to war on the basis they had obtained uranium from Niger. As part of the intelligence to find out about Iraq’s possible weapons of mass destruction Joe Wilson is sent by the CIA to Niger in order to investigate the suspicion of ‘yellow cake’ being moved to Iraq.

He found no evidence whatsoever, so when Bush announces it as a reason for going to war, he publicly speaks out. Of course the government dislike this and retaliate by revealing the identity of his wife, Valerie. Yes folks, that’s illegal.

The chameleon who stands out.

There’s another animated movie doing the rounds in cinemas. It’s called Rango, at least I think it is, if you were going off movie posters then you might think it’s called Johnny Depp.

Yes, Johnny Depp does the voice for the little lizard and the marketing for Rango has been completely focused around the A-lister. This did concern me at first as I didn’t know much about it, and the studio seemed to just be running with Depp’s inclusion in it rather than telling me anything about the story and whatnot. It could’ve been rubbish.

You see Martin Harris, you really had a wonderful life.

It was revealed this week that there will be a sequel to the popular action movie Taken starring Liam Neeson. Of course Neeson will be back to find them and kill them…again. There’s currently a movie out in the cinemas that resembles Taken; it also stars Liam Neeson performing in a kick-ass role. It’s called Unknown.

Unlike Taken though, Unknown has a bit more of a well thought out plot. Sure Taken is good, but in the end of the day, there’s no twist or anything you just watch Liam Neeson’s daughter get kidnapped and then witness him hunt down the abductors and kill them. Simple as that. With Unknown there’s a lot more thought put into it.

Bourne meets Inception.

That’s pretty much been the tagline The Adjustment Bureau has based the entire premise of it marketing campaign on. TotalFilm really has a lot to answer for. So is it Bourne meets Inception? Well not really. It’s Matt Damon in a film that appears to have some sort of alternative reality, I think that‘s the link with Inception.

It has the science fiction vibes that Inception sort of has too. Well maybe not sci-fi but perhaps something a little more towards the supernatural. The film focuses on the idea of free will, whether we have it or not.

I am Bernie the Beagle's owner, and don't you forget it.

We’re a few months into the year now and we’ve been dealt our first superhero movie: I Am Number Four. Well it’s sort of a superhero movie but in truth I don’t really know what genre to put this movie in. It could be a whole range of things.


Upon going to watch this I had no idea about it whatsoever. It’s based on a book that I’ve never heard of let alone read, so really I could have been walking into anything. I hadn’t even seen a trailer for it. I just knew it was about some guy who has superpowers of some sort.

Pegg + Frost - Wright + America + Brahbrah = Paul

Comedy duo, Nick Frost and Simon Pegg returned to the big screen once again in February with their new movie Paul. Although they’ve both been involved in plenty since, this is largely seen as the follow-up to Hot Fuzz which is now an astonishing four years old now. My, how time flies.

I loved Hot Fuzz, it’s one of my favourite comedies out there, so Paul was always going to have very large shoes to fill. I wasn’t a huge fan of Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz was a huge improvement so I was interested to see what direction they were going to take with this new one. 

The Truly Gritty Performances of Hailee Steinfeld and co.

True Grit had a disappointing evening at the Academy Awards the other night. Though it was nominated in ten categories it failed to win in any of them. It didn’t fair too well at the BAFTAs either, receiving plenty of nominations but only winning one, for cinematography. I suppose that shows the standard of films nominated this year, when such a great film like True Grit was disregarded so coldly.

I saw True Grit not too long ago and I feel that it’s another great film by the Coen brothers. Set at the end of the 19th century and with all the prejudices that go along with that era, the movie is about a young girl called Mattie whose father is killed by the criminal Tom Chaney. Chaney escapes the law’s grasp and heads into the wilderness as a fugitive, and the law isn’t too enthusiastic about going after him.

More speeches from The King's Speech.

Well the Oscars are done, dusted and polished for another year and it was certainly one to remember for the British contingent. Unfortunately for us Brits though, many couldn’t watch it as it happened because it was on Sky Movies. So we had to make do with the highlights a day later on the newly named Sky Living. Not sure what this channel is about yet; it’s replaced Living, or Dead as I call it, after Sky purchased the group sometime last year.

When the BAFTAs were shown on the BBC, there was an hour delay for some unknown reason, which was problematic as it could be ruined somehow by winners getting revealed to you before Auntie Beeb showed you. This problem was solved simply by a mobile phone, Facebook and Twitter blackout. The Oscars wouldn’t be as simple.

A Rocky Horror Show?

The Oscars are just a few days away now so I thought I’d review one of the nominations for Best Picture. Overlooked by this year’s BAFTAs, this rank outsider isn’t expected to win the Oscar but shouldn’t be totally overlooked. The film in question? The Fighter.

There is a bit of a theme going in the Best Picture category, most of them feature characters who display huge amounts of determination to achieve their goal. Heck one of them is even called True Grit, and in fairness The Fighter could easily have gone with the title ‘True Grit’ because main character Micky Ward displays so much of it Britain want to start using him on the roads in Winter.

Disney lets its hair down.

So I’ve seen Tangled. You have a problem with that? Well, it was free after all so why not, and I have to say I don’t regret going to watch it.

In a nutshell: it’s a Disney movie. So yes, now you know what to expect. Wait, come back, I haven‘t finished! Although it’s a Disney move that is clearly aimed at kids, I have to say there were a few moments that had me chortling away into my Capri-Sun like a hyperactive child at a picnic.

The King's Speech's many speeches.

I enjoyed watching the BAFTAs on Sunday night, I’m a sucker for these movie awards. Golden Globes, BAFTAs, Oscars, I just love watching them. Usually just to see who wins, but they are strangely entertaining. Movies are pretty much the only genre of awards ceremonies that are good to watch though. I mean, the BRITS were on last night apparently, anybody give a Lego brick about it?

Speechless.

I finally got around to seeing The King’s Speech, you know that apparently brilliant piece of cinema everyone’s talking about? Well I can confidently report back to you that it is indeed brilliant! I was quite happy about that, as after all the hype that surrounds movies these days, I usually expect to be disappointed somewhat by them.

But that’s certainly not the case with this one. This historical drama really is as enjoyable a watch as it is an interesting one. I really like these kind of movies; true stories that are linked in with history, and I enjoyed this one a lot.

The not so Ugly Duckling.

Now, I went to see Black Swan the other day and I’m finding it harder than usual to give this one a score. It’s one of the better tough decisions to have to make however. It’s not like I’m trying to decide to give it one star or two!

Black Swan is what you’d probably call a dramatic thriller. It’s creepy, intoxicating, sexy, powerful and at times breathtaking. It has its jumpy moments, its touching moments and its just plain creepy moments.

Are you just holding on to the can?

Danny Boyle is back with a new movie for 2011 and this one, in my humble opinion, is one of his better ones. It goes by the name of 127 Hours and tells the true story of Aron Ralston, a particularly obsessed climber and canyoner who on an excursion unfortunately finds himself trapped between a rock and a hard place, also known as a very large rock and a smaller yet still immovable rock.

Incidentally the name of the book in which this movie bases itself on is named ‘Between a rock and a hard place’ by Mr Ralston himself. I haven’t read the book but after watching the movie version of the tale I am definitely more inclined to do so now.

Movies of 2010.

Well I’ve noticed that a few people here and there are doing these best movies of 2010 lists. So I though I’d get me some of that action even though realistically I haven’t seen as many movies as I would have liked last year.

What I think I’ll do is a top five and then just go into a few movies I thought were good, and some that were not so good. Okay, so here are my top five movies of 2010:

So long... Partner.

Pixar’s latest masterpiece, Toy Story 3, came out on DVD last week and I really would recommend you grab yourself a copy of it. The last in the trilogy, this movie ties up the franchise neatly and fittingly in a tear jerking finale no one will want to miss.

The story centres around the lives of a group of toys who live with their owner, Andy (no relation). Now, ten years have passed since Toy Story 2; Andy has grown up and is now off to college. Naturally the toys have become seldom used and now take residence in Andy’s toy chest, never to see the light of day again.

Persistently, the toys attempt to get Andy to play with them, but they fail and are grouped together into a trash bag and hauled into the attic, with the exception of Woody who gets special treatment and is placed in the box headed to college. However, the toys don’t make it to the attic, Andy’s meddling mother mistakes them for trash and leaves them on the kerb for collection. I wish we still did that here, all these wheelie bins are doing my head in. But that is a rant for another day...

Could be interesting.

Well I did it, I went back to the cinema. The film? The Social Network, the story about the founding of Facebook. I didn’t really think much to this movie back when I saw the trailer a while ago, it didn’t seem too interesting. But I can confirm that I was so wrong. So painfully wrong. There… I said it.

It’s a good movie, mainly because the story is interesting more than anything else. Now, I went to see this movie because recently I read the book The Accidental Millionaires by Ben Mezrich, and I found it to be an amazing insight into some of their lives.

The story focuses on Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg and those around him, namely his best friend Eduardo Saverin, Napster creator Sean Parker, and twins Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss. From what I can gather, Mezrich compiled the story using interviews he did with several sources, with his closest source being Eduardo Saverin. He states early on that he never spoke to Zuckerberg once, even though he persistently attempted to contact him.

Coming soon to a cinema near you.

Recently I’ve found myself getting bored. I’ve spent the morning wandering my house looking for something to tidy only to end up more bored sat in front of ESPN watching United play Bolton. Now this tedious boredom I keep encountering may or may not link in to the fact that there is nothing to look forward to in the movie world.

I mean, as soon as the credits rolled for Scott Pilgrim, that was it. It was the moment I looked up and bemoaned the fact that there is now no film to look forward to between me walking over the sticky floors at the cinema complex on the way out and Rudolph laying his front two hoofs down onto my snowy rooftop. I know this as I’ve been punctual enough to see the trailers at the start of recent films I’ve watched. Which for me is usually a rare thing.

That's actually hilarious.

Video game movies suck, yes? Tomb Raider, Resident Evil, Alone in the Dark, Mortal Kombat. Yeah they pretty much all waver between God-awful and depressingly disastrous. But I went to see a movie recently that may very well defy this fact. A fact that has been written in stone ever since Bob Hoskins popped out of a green pipe and yelled ‘Mamma Mia!’.

This Movie is: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Now I know it’s not a video game, all you pedantic boffins will know it’s based on a comic book written by Bryan Lee O’Malley, but it is a video game movie! It just is! It’s so awesome! From the moment it starts you know it’s a video game movie. The Universal logo is presented to you in 16-bit format with an 8-bit version of the theme. Okay movie…you have gained your first star.

New Blog - Movies.

So I've decided to start a new blog to go on top of my other blog. I've decided to do this because I tend to write at least something about every film I see and as I generally see a fair amount of movies there are inevitably a fair amount of posts generated banging on about them. This is cluttering up my blog too much so I decided the smart thing to do was to create a new blog entirely that will be 100% dedicated to movies.

I shall move all of the movie posts from my other blog to this one which will probably take more that 10 minutes. Sigh.

Hopefully you'll enjoy reading my blogs as much as I enjoy writing them! Thanks for reading!

The other blog is still at: papyrusandcrayons.blogspot.co.uk